What does the start of a New Year mean to me?

So many things.

But a “fresh start” is not one of them.

The truth is, life can just stink sometimes. It certainly isn’t always fair, and it’s always full of lessons if you look for them in everyday events.

A few months ago, my family suffered the unexpected. My 60-year-old aunt suffered a heart attack while driving. It was a loss none of us were prepared for in any way.

She never regained consciousness. She didn’t get the chance to tell my uncle or my cousins goodbye.

I watched my 89-year-old grandmother visit the hospital room of her daughter knowing she was going to outlive her. That’s something no parent should endure … at any age.

I stood with my family in her ICU room at Riverside Hospital in Columbus as we prayed together and took turns saying goodbye before the machines keeping my aunt alive were disconnected.

It was awful, and something I hope I never have to go through again.

But we survived.

It has been a painful few months, and the holidays were certainly different. But we are continuing on.

The date, Jan. 1, doesn’t change the impact of that loss for any of my family. There is no magic in flipping the calendar. It will still hurt as much as it did Dec. 31.

Many others feel the same hurt in different situations.

But life does go on.

The loss of my aunt is just one reason why I say that the fresh start of a new year has minimal significance for me. And I don’t mean that to be negative.

At 43 years old, one thing I’ve learned is that life is a roller coaster. Not everything works out all the time, and life is certainly never easy.

I have suffered loss, hurt, disappointment, and joy beyond measure all within the course of a week. Usually the good outweighs the bad, and I keep pushing through because I have to. People depend on me.

My goal for 2019 is the same as it is every day.

DO BETTER. BE BETTER.

I don’t compete with anyone but myself in this life. My goal is simply to be better than who I was yesterday.

Not too many years ago, a dear person called me out for being less than I was capable of in my daily life. It smacked me between the eyes, because it was true. I wasn’t working hard enough, and I was settling for less.

I wont go back to that mentality again.

I work every day to do MY best, NOT to be THE BEST. And that attitude is the same on Dec. 31 as it is on Jan. 1.

Life is precious, and the Lord doesn’t guarantee us tomorrow. I don’t live like my life will change because of a resolution that I plan to start tomorrow.

I make the most of today.