I’m a Baby Boomer? No way!

Well … that’s disappointing.

I started to right a column for the next edition of Galion Inquirer and while doing a little research — yes, at times I actually do research for these columns — I discovered something depressing.

I couldn’t remember if I was a member of General X or Generation Y (the Millenials). Although websites and definitions differ, I quickly ruled out Millenials, (those with birth dates from 1980-1999) AND Generation X (1961 to about 1992). I kn0w Generation Z (Z is for Zombies? 1996-2009) was out of the question.

What did I learn?

That I’m a Baby Boomer.

Yes, yours truly, a Baby Boomer. Never have I thought of myself as a Baby Boomer. It still kind of blows my mind. But here I am … a Boomer. I have the cats, the blankets, the Lava Lamps and the fondue pot to prove it.

Baby Boomers were born from around 1946-1964. I’m one of the younger Boomers. And I take solace in that. Still I belong to the the same generation as Bill Clinton, Donald Trump and Arnold Schwarzenegger — all wonderful, well-loved, well-respected, and well … pretty old politicians.

As a kid (well, maybe as a teenager), I watched NBA greats Larry Bird and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar play against one another. Both are Baby Boomers. Laura Bush is a member of my generation … yes, that Bush family. Ted Danson, you know, the owner of “Cheers,” from that hip TV show of 25 years ago. Back then that Boomer was a handsome former athlete. Now, if you’ve seen him on whatever CSI show he is on, he looks like I feel this morning, old.

Andre the Giant, perhaps the most loved and famous professional wrestler of all time, is a member of my generation, as is Squeaky Fromme, one of Charles Manson’s followers, who gained more notoriety by taking a shot at President Gerald Ford.

Ironically, Manson was a member of “The Greatest Generation.”

As I did more research, I discovered that Aug. 17 (Wednesday) is Baby Boomers Recognition Day.

Yay for me! I’m going to buy a packet of Rolaids, have a couple martinis while my fondue pot is working, and turn on some reruns of the “Mary Tyler Moore” show.

So to the rest of my generation: Happy Middle Agers Day! Happy Old Timers Day! Happy Aging Gracefully Day! And my favorite, Happy Aging DISgracefully Day!

We’re Boomers and there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it.

If you are out and about Wednesday and wish to join the Baby Boomers Recognition Day party, here’s how to do it, according to babyboomerslife.org: Wear something from the fashion styles back in the day. This could be a favorite band sweatshirt, a tie-dyed t-shirt, school varsity letterman’s jacket, distressed Levi’s or anything else hidden way back in your closet. Ladies, you need to get a Jackie Kennedy or Laura Petrie haircut and then add large sunglasses or rose-colored glasses to the attire.

That seems pretty easy, I still dress that way.

And don’t forget the sandals, or flip-flops, or Jerusalem cruisers … whatever you called your favorite footwear.

When it came to music, my generation has the best and most eclectic tastes. From Elvis to Chuck Berry to Jerry Lee Lewis, from Marvin Gaye to Aretha Franklin, from the Beatles to the Rolling Stones, from Bruce Springsteen to Simon Garfunkel to Queen, from Michael Jackson to Madonna.

It was the best of times.

And now?

We’re getting old.

But we’re also pretty smart. We’ve learned to adapt. People over 50 are the fastest growing segment of Internet users. Like everyone else, we used does on the computer, but they’re a little different than the ones everyone elses uses. Here are some texting codes anyone born after 1965 may not understand, courtesy of hubpages.com/entertainment/baby_boomer_jokes: ATD — At the Doctor’s; BFF — Best Friends Funeral; BTW — Bring the Wheelchair; BYOT — Bring Your Own Teeth; CBM — Covered by Medicare; CUATSC — See You at the Senior Center; DWI — Driving While Incontinent; FWIW — Forgot Where I Was; GGPBL — Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low; GHA — Got Heartburn Again; HGBM — Had Good Bowel Movement; LMDO — Laughing My Dentures Out; LOL — Living on Lipitor; TOT — Texting on Toilet.

And being a Boomer isn’t all bad.

I am on the AARP mailing list. Without AARP, I’d not be able to fill a trash bag with jump each week.

I’m eligible, I think. How do I get a Golden Buckeye Card.

I get the senior discount at some golf courses, although I’m not ready yet to play from the senior tees.

And we have a pretty cool past.

We were hippies and peaceniks. We stood for free love and long hair.

We didn’t accept what we were told at face-value. We had sit-ins and smoke-ins, because certainly liked our ganja. We didn’t event it. But we tried to perfect it.

We were against the war when it wasn’t a popular thing to be.

We put a man on the moon. We even walked on the moon.

Baby Boomers were a lot of things … its a big generation.

Anyway, there was a point to this column when I started, but as a Boomer, the memory comes and goes and I can’t remember what it was.

So I’ll leave you with this.

Have a good weekend!

Russ Kent Inquirer Editor
http://aimmedianetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/38/2016/08/web1_russ-kent-mug-3.jpgRuss Kent Inquirer Editor

Russ Kent is editor of the Galion Editor, Morrow County Sentinel and Bellville Star. Email him with story ideas and observations at rkent@civitasmedia.com.